Here are some status updates from my Facebook page during the month of June. And to these I’ve added another thought in this category.
I realize that if we stay on this planet long enough, it happens to us all, but it is still really weird to me that memories of things well into my adults years are now at least 20 years ago. If you were born in the 90s, or even 80s, it may not be so weird to you to think that the 90s were 20 years ago, but I keep thinking those things are 10 years ago because that was the 90s and now we’re in the 2000s. But then I realize adding 10 only gets me to one of the first 10 years of the 2000s, and now we’re in the teens of the 2000s, so suddenly 1993 becomes nearly 20 years ago! Jane! stop this crazy thing!
Someone asks “can women have it all?” and I’m wondering what “it all” is. And then I’m wondering can Men have “it all?” and is their “all” the same as our “all,” and if it’s not, well then we can’t have “it all” because they’ve got some All that we don’t have. Have you ever heard anyone ask “Can Men have it all?”? Do we assume they already have it? And what exactly is it? It seems to me that we want what they have (or at least, think that they have), AND what we have. Are they hankering for what we have along with what they have (or think they have, or are told they have)? Well? Anyone? What’s IT all about, Alfie, anyways?
I was standing over the stove, thinking about some things I’ve learned recently in a field that I’ve been involved in all my life, and I thought, ‘it’s hard to believe I spent 60 years not knowing that,’ and then I remembered that I’m not 60, and I cannot tell you what a relief it was to get back those 10 years.
As I was making the eggs and the coffee and then looking at the scene out my back door (as seen in my banner thingy up there on the timeline), and enjoying the peace of the morning, I felt very blessed that I can say that the best days of my life are right now. There’s no need to be nostalgic about the past and long for any good ol’ days. The good ol’ days are right now, and I’m very grateful for that.
It occurred to me recently that I’ve sort of been “given” the opportunity of a fresh start in my life. And perhaps you could look at it as if I’ve been able to live two distinct lives on this planet. (Will there be a third?) I often wish that I had married earlier and had become a mother sooner (and thus, more children), but I realize that I lived a life from 20 to 40 that my friends who married “young” will never be able to live — even in their empty nest years. And now for 10 years, and hoping for 10 to 50 more, I’ve been living this married/mom/educator/really-having-a-home-to-make life. (I mean no offense to my single friends on that last one. I’m only expressing how I felt as a single person.) Sometimes my 20 to 40 years seem like only yesterday; but most times they seem like a lifetime away — someone else’s life perhaps. I’m very grateful for those years and all that I got to do and see and learn. I assume that those opportunities wouldn’t have been there if I had been married and raising a family. And now I get to live and learn and grow with Jack and James. These are indeed the best years of my life. And perhaps it is that all that Jack and I experienced and learned in our other lives have made these years of 40 plus even more awesome than they would have been if we had been walking and parenting together in our 20s and 30s. I’m having a lot of fun. My 40s were quite challenging, but also full of so much joy and adventure. The 50s are looking to be the same and so much more. I’m grateful that I can live in and relish the here and now.